English Menu: Asking for One Thing and Getting Another
Continuing the theme of yesterday’s post about Hebrew orthograpghy, today I’d like to discuss the horrible state of affairs of Hebrew-to-English translation and transliteration. Granted, as a new immigrant, I should be striving towards mastery of Hebrew but that’s not something that come quickly if ever.
Israel, since it is largley an immigrant nation, should then be prepared to offer new immigrants the option of learning materials or reference materials in their native language. For the most part, the Aliyah materials I received before coming to Israel were well-done and informative; perhaps they put the bar a bit too high.
Adjusting to Israel as a native English speaker and bumbling Hebrew speaker was not terribly easy. Most of the non-governmental offices (such as cable, electricity, phone, etc) only offer Hebrew, Arabic or Russian support. So this meant guessing at which number to push on the dialpad and repeated attempts to uncover a human who invariably didn’t speak any English and would transfer me immediately to another person who would do the same. Eventually the line would be disconnected. It was very frustrating.
I suppose it’s somewhat arrogant to expect Israel to provide English support except that English is most of the world’s second language…
For a truly frustrating experience, go to any Israeli restaurant and ask for an English menu. Either they will provide you with a dog-eared, ratty menu held precariously together with scotch tape and scraps of previous meals or they’ll tell you they don’t have one but they’d be happy to tell you what’s on the menu (or in addition, they’ll lecture you about living in Israel and requiring an English menu which is always pleasant).
If an English menu is available, it is almost certainly a mishmash of misspellings and insane transliterations. On the bright side, however, you are treated to some of the most colorful and blase interpretations of words. The Italian menus are usually the most amusing; it’s so odd though that an Italian restaurant would so casually dismiss the spelling of so many common Italian words — they’re in Roman characters after all.
If no English menu is available, the accuracy of the translation depends on the Israeli. But, if you ask a question and the waiter isn’t sure of the answer, you will be given a hesitant “yes”. Many meals have been ruined or at least dampened by the expectation of a sumptuous meal only to have the reception of something you expressly did not ask for and would have refused.
It is a mystery as to why Israelis are so cavalier in their disregard to the most basic consistencies in spelling and translation. Most of the visitors to this country are not native Hebrew speakers and rely on English and secondarily Russian to communicate. Having shoddy English menus and spotty English support is – to those who haven’t become acclimated – somewhat rude and off-putting. For the rest of us, it’s just part of the Israeli charm.